The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
