My first STD was from a foam party
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
