Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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