They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
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