All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
either way he was missing a nipple.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
