That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
