Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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