I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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