I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
