tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
