Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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