Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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