i was born a porn star she said
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
