So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
