the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
