Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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