If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
