The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize