Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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