you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
