Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
