okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
