Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
