Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
