Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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