hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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