the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
