I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
