so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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