so explain again why im purple
no
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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