yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
ttyl tear gas
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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