That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
