Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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