First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
