guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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