It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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