i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The best revenge is premature balding
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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