He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize