College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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