Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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