Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I need to stop coming to work sober
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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