I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
