i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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