On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize