im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
