I must be too annoying 4 u.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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