so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I didn't notice because vodka
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize