you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
