is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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