he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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