the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I think my moral compass just broke
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
