he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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