Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
