Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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