So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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