ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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