Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
