Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Watching her eat just hurts me
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize