Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
