Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
