dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
