Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I wish I only lived at night.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
