I think i sorta joined a cult last night
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
