The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
