My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize