Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
