there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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