if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
