I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
