There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
