So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
