It's Friday. Sex?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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