i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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