Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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