so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
